By the early eighties, most hippies had traded in their tunics for chinos and brogues, and the concept of ‘following your heart’ was no more: it didn’t get you on the property ladder and it wouldn’t pay the bills. Hence, the importance of personal values - and anything ‘wishy-washy’ slipped underground for a few decades.
Yet personal values are important broad, trans-situational, desirable goals that serve as guiding principles in our lives.
Much of what we stand for and why we do the things we do, as adults, tends to be given to us in our formative years. However, we can tend to think of the values, attitudes and beliefs that we grew up as fixed truths which explain the world and our place within it. So, we dance on, blissfully unaware that we’re making life decisions based on childhood stories - many of which we should have outgrown.
In my teens, I leaned towards the arts - but society didn’t see painting or writing as 'real jobs' in those days. I never questioned the belief I was given that all that mattered was that you had a job; whether or not you enjoyed it didn’t seem to be an issue. I held this belief for the next three decades - until revisiting my own values in a quest to create a better working life.
When something just doesn't 'sit right'
Our personal values seep into every part of our waking lives. Imagine the scenario: brought up with parents who had intolerably high expectations, perfection may have been instilled as a value. At school, you were diligent and hard-working, and your parents praised and rewarded you for it. Quickly, you learn that your ‘perfection’ value pays off.
Cue real-world stuff.
Now perfection doesn’t guarantee the promotion, the partner or the prize . The stress and trauma of giving all you’ve got to things that don’t pan out, crushes you …and so you respond by avoiding opportunities - because you realise just might fail.
Your ‘perfection’ value isn’t serving you anymore.
In business, revisiting your personal values can help you to take things forward in a more positive and sustainable way, making decisions based on your ‘true north’; that is, values that resonate with who you really are.
Living within your values makes you a happier person
It's believed that people who feel that their lives are aligned with their personal values tend to be:
- … better at making big life decisions around pursuing passions, long-term career goals, and relationships
- … are less likely to engage in destructive thought patterns, especially in difficult life situations
- … tolerate physical pain more easily
- … have greater self-discipline and focus when studying or working
- … have stronger social connections, perhaps through being able to be more authentic, focused and ‘sorted’
Knowing where your values, attitudes or beliefs might run you into some problems is also useful. For example; if you live a life underpinned by the value of generosity, you may just find your bottom line is haemorrhaging from all the ‘added value’ you keep giving your customers and ‘mates rates’ for those who know you’ll give them.
Another interesting point to consider is that people often gravitate towards occupations that fit with their values. In a Nature Human Behaviour publication on Values, it's suggested that, managers, bankers and financial advisors emphasize power and achievement values more than individuals in other occupations; psychologists and social worker emphasise benevolence and universalism more than others, and secretaries and bookkeepers emphasize security, conformity and tradition more than others.
The flip-side of this is to what extent we might actually adopt the values of certain types of jobs, rather than gravitate towards them. This is obviously hard to measure, but either way, it's important to revisit and assess if they are relevant to you now - particularly if you are thinking of starting a business in a new area.
Ask yourself what really matters to you. And, if you know your core values, did you consider where they came from? Do they sit well with your life and your chosen career? If not, it may be time to reassess your circumstances!
Connecting with your own values
Here are some examples of personal values just to get you started. Of course, there are hundreds; we are all unique with completely different experiences of life, but we will usually resonate with at least a few of these:
| Family | Freedom | Security | Loyalty |
| Generosity | Integrity | Love | Religion |
| Intelligence | Creativity | Humanity | Success |
| Respect | Invention | Connection | Joy |
| Goodness | Honesty | Caring | Kindness |
| Career | Learning | Affection | Price |
| Friendship | Wisdom | Truth | Strength |
| Justice | Patience | Gratitude | Endurance |
Simple ways to discover your personal values
- Think of situations or experiences which make you feel happy, whole, or at peace. (Sleeping and eating chocolate are not values 🙂
- Consider your role models - who do you look up to? What qualities do these people share? These will likely resonate with your own personal values.
- Think of what enrages you when you see it happening. This is likely a good indicator of a personal value being abused or exploited.
Over the last 20 years, we've seen a welcome return of holistic and spiritual approaches to wellbeing and developed a greater understanding of how much our inner - and outer worlds can affect our life choices.
Personal values are essential to living the life we should be living, and, it appears, are once again within our awareness. Hopefully - unlike the 70's - they are here to stay ...
